~~~~~ Welcome ~~~~~~

05/24/13- A mostly black fashion set cos I haven't made one in awhile. I have become a complete cynic when it comes to love. I do not believe in it at all and never will again. In terms of being any part of my life at all it is not something I am meant to truly experience. I am breathing but not alive and never will be again because the fire that was once there is now dead. Have a nice weekend then.

05/17/13- These pix all remind me of diff kinds of things to do with my life in some way or another. Looking to the past for comfort at this time as the present is still pretty intolerable as well as more confusing and unjust than ever before. The only other thing I can really say at this point is, talk about testing the heck outta my patience :/

05/15/13- ...is what I want to make. To do that is to matter. Still very discouraged in the love department but I did a tarot reading about the general energy of it for me in the next month and it seemed to be saying that it is all very out of my control except what I can do which is basically to stay true to myself no matter what. I am glad they reminded me of that because lately I've been feeling bad enough that I considered sacrificing that a bit so that I could at least say I "had someone" but I was worrying too much about what others thought of me. I don't care how many more bloody people ask me if I'm "married" when I tell them I'm 28, go ahead n ask ALL you want. My answer is no. Will I ever be? How the heck do I know? I hope so but if not oh well.

05/10/13- Pretty sure I made a set w/ this same name before but w/e I think it goes w/ this one too. Anyway there is a lot of stuff going through my head these days, things I want and don't want and I dunno if I wanna care about either one anymore. Tryin with all my might not to be nervous about meeting the guy from online that I have the biggest crush ever on, all I know is that if it goes bad (ie. he doesn't like me) I will be VERY crushed. So for now it remains a dream in terms of it going how I want. Hopefully it will be a reality, will see what happens anyway...

05/05/13- Yup. That's how I feel right now. Lots of reasons but no point actually going into the details of it. Does not matter and it is not worth my energy at all. I made this to help me deal w/ the feelings and to help the clouds hopefully part sooner because whenever I feel this way I always feel better eventually :)

05/03/13- Not sure about this set but anyway things are maybe looking up in the love department, still not very sure right now though. Trying to not worry so much about it though and to just be grateful for all the things in my life that are good and things in general that I love :) Best wishes for an enjoyable weekend for everyone and may you remember often all the things that are very good in life :)

05/01/13- ....to be brave and inspired and to remember the better things in life. I have to right now more than ever because I maybe have a bit of a chance w/ someone else now but I don't know whether I could survive another rejection were I to risk so much by doing what I'm considering doing. Why do they have to live 8 bloody hours away? Ughhh the injustice & yes yes I know life is not fair and all that crap. Don't know why there can't be someone decent who likes me and who I like too who lives maybe half the distance from that or less. Dammit. Not feeling so great about love stuff still I gotta say this is not improving things overall in terms of how I feel. It is seeming more and more impossible by the day I don't think I'll ever be able to figure out how to make it work it does not seem to be meant to be something that I will ever have in my life so I guess that is just that :( Hope I can find some way to accept that one day soon I have no idea how but I do know if I can't then I dunno what I will do at all I guess just be completely unfulfilled and feeling so empty like this for the rest of my life and no one will even know or care at all. Great.

04/29/13- ....about everything these days. Still pretty mad and annoyed at life for making things so unbelievably hard & now I maybe have another guy who I'm still not very sure about but he does not live very nearby, not "convenient" to get to in any case so dammit yet another bloody problem in the love department. I need to talk to him more still anyway but ya I hope he really does like ME as much as he seems to, need more info first though so just dunno what to think about it right now :( All I know is I do NOT want to be single & will do (almost) anything to make that happen asap.

04/26/13- Both the hoping and caring in terms of ever finding love from a tolerable man again are now truly gone. I can only hope they will never return because what an absolute hell of a nightmare of pain and suffering they gave me to deal with in the end. Worth it? Hell no. I don't know what guys problems are when it comes to me because I am a good person who deserves their love and worship but instead they give it to the least deserving. Such is life, such is hell. That is why I am saying goodbye to all of it by never allowing myself to go near such nonsense ever again as long as I live. It is gone and will not be missed a single bit by me. Have a good day then.

04/24/13- Yup, that's what he is at this point. Far from feeling very hopeful, strong or confident about things in the love department but still trying for some reason. Hope things will get better soon cos I dunno how much longer I can survive feeling so down and worthless like this :(